My Unscensored Descent into Madness
by chocolateefixesbrokenhearts
Summary: Lia's goals for Seventh Year: - Get at least 7 N.E.W.T's. -Manage to get into ngo's Healing Program. -Crush the Gryffindors and take the Quidditch Cup from their dead, cold hands. - Try to keep Abbie from destroying the school one fragile object at the time. Simple enough. But when one is faced with ridiculously good looking topless boys, a History of Magic professor with ques


Defining moments.

We all have them, at least once in our lives we all have to go through them. They make the way for the people we will become, the friends we will make, the pizza we will like, etc etc.

People will tell you about the time when they were 10 and they got to save a whole bunch of kitties with their uncle, or when they got their hands on a violin for the first time and the music just flowed, or when they blew up the house by mixing substances that should not be in reach of minors.

Mine, mine is a little less eventful.

It was the first week of summer holiday. I was ten and home alone as you do when both your parents are professor who do not know the concept of not working or nannies. I had already seen all the cat videos YouTube offered, played The Sims until my eyes were so irritated you'd have thought I had smoked pot and tortured my kitten with at least half an hour of chasing it around trying to get him to love me. And then, suddenly, as I was endlessly scrolling through Netflix, I found it.

Romance, scalpels, drama, weird medical cases, a never-ending supply of arrogant; emotionally stunted, competitive people who refused to listen to each other. It was heaven. It was also highly inappropriate for a 10 year old, but hey my parents did not know the concept of "parental control" either. I binged watched the 1st to the 5th season, I am sure I fried at least 5% of my neurons by my constant exposure to the computer's light. By the end of it I was a different person.

I had found my career, my vocation, my lighthouse in a sea storm.

I, Carolina Mailen Baez Acevedo, would one day become one of the greatest neurosurgeons in the entire world.

My parents killed that dream as quickly as it was born.

See, I never knew I was magical until exactly two months after that. Burned down an entire tree because I was mad at a boy for hitting me, my Mum was never prouder. Anyhow, that very same day I wound up finding out that not only that I was a witch, but that my entire family on my mother's side was too and that she had never told me about it because I hadn't shown magical abilities till then. Somehow that wasn't as shocking as the whole Grey's Anatomy thing.

But oh boy the shots didn't stop there, no, I was also getting told that we were moving because both my parents had gotten teaching positions at Oxford. Excellent timing my parents have.

I think this set the tone for pretty much the rest of my life.

So now they were bound for a Georgian house and two teaching positions in History and Spanish. While I was to be sent to an old, dingy castle in middle-of-nowhere Scotland.

Yay for me.

I like to think of 2016 as my annus horribilis. Moving to a strange new place away from family and friends, when you don't know the language very well is tough, but try adding the"you're a witch" part and the whole equation just screams of an impending-psych case.

However, thanks to my weird-magnet, I managed to acquire a best friend. One which I have not regretted having for the past 6 years.

That stops now.

"Remind me, how did you drag me into this? You know, so I can use it as reference when I am trying to convince someone to immolate themselves," I huffed, while trying to reach the zip up the dress I was wearing.

Gracie shuffled towards me, helping me with the it "Lina, you're overreacting again."

"I am not," I gasped "Shit, dude this thing is tight, it will iron my boobs out"

"Well, that's what happens when a D-cup wears a B-cup's dress" Abbie chastised.

I turned around outraged "And whose fault is that?"

Abbie laughed, I repeat LAUGHED, at me "Come on Lins, we'll have fun"

"Easy thing to say for you," I scoffed "You know everyone in that party, I know no-one Abigail, not a single living soul"

"I'll be by your side the whole time" She reassured me, helping me put my brown curly hair up.

"You always say that, then Uncle Whozits niece's cousin is dragging you off to meet her three snotty children, and I get left all alone by the food cart,"

"But at least you love that food cart."

"You're right, they do always stock it up with those delicious…." I staggered for a second then glared at her "Do not get me off my point."

"Which is?"

"That you are the worst friend in the world!" I exclaimed

"Nah, I'm seconds to you."

"I hate you."

"Ditto."

Then we laughed.

True friendship, everyone.

* * *

"Abbbbbiiiieee" I cried while leaning onto my best friend's shoulder "I think I just saw a nine"

Abbie raised her head slowly then turned it to scan the room "A nine, where?"

"Over there" I said cooly "Next to the gigantic Merlin ice sculpture"

Her eyes moved, searching for the guy. Then she did… and promptly smacked me in the head.

"Ow" I yelled "The fuck was that for?"

"That's _Teddy_ , you idiot" She hissed.

"Ahhh, wow, Teddy got hot!" _Smack_ "Okay, you need to stop that now"

"Teddy is not hot, Teddy is Victoire's boyfriend"

"I do not see how one annuls the other" I thought out loud "I mean in a logical scenario, the hotness is essential to the being her boyfriend"

Her hand moved up to smack me again but I managed to use my ninja skills to get away "Nonononono, no, no, Teddy is Teddy. The dude that defends you from your cruel cousins, the one that tells you stories about trolls and selkies. That dude is _not_ hot."

"Fine, don't get you knickers in a twist." I huffed, plopping down onto the giant white-mantelpiece covered table "Abieeeeeeee."

"Dearest?" She asked turning towards me with a scowl.

"I. Am. Bored"

"You're always bored." She deadpanned.

"Yes but this is a different state of bored!" I cried "This is the epitome of boredom, my brain will self combust if I am not entertained."

"And you wonder why I don't stay with you all night in this things."

"Then stop bringing me!"

"Never."

I stabbed the roast beef with my fork and took a bite "You're evil."

I looked around the room trying to find some entertainment. By this point in life I was fairly accustomed to the fact that God had taken me in as his own sick version of a reality star, so I was not that shocked when my eyes landed on my least favourite person in the whole wide world.

"Oi, Longbottom." I cried elbowing Abbie on the side "Sparky is here."

"James' is here? Thought he'd still be in Spain?" Then she looked at my face "Oh no, oh no no no, whatever you are thinking please don't do it."

I threw back my hands in exasperation "I didn't even say any-"

 _CLASH_

Annnnd there went the fancy champagne glass.

"You have that look in your face," Abbie complained as we went under the table to find the remaining shards.

"What look?" I asked, blowing my hair out of my face.

"That look you get when you're ready to bolt out of a place"

"Well, what if I'm ready to bolt out of this place?"

"Lina!"

"Abbie." I cried

"You know this vendetta you have against each other needs to stop eventually" she stated while trying not to cut herself with the broken glass.

"I do not have a vendetta against Potter" I cried and then shrugged "He might have one, I don't have the time to care about him"

"Last night you spent 4 hours moaning about how arrogantly he cut his potion's ingredients."

"I… well it is true." I said, throwing an accusing finger for good measure, "It's not my fault Dick Face has an ego the size of a zeppelin. And don't you dare tell anyone about that or I'll have to spill about you and that french boy-"

She attempted to shush me with a napkin to my mouth, a joyously failed effort.

"Treason." I cried, flinging a napkin of my own at her.

Abbie merely gasped before striking back. Then she kicked the table over.

"Great job, twat." I choked, trying to run for cover from the millions of eyes on us.

Abbie smiled apologetically as we crouched behind the gigantic Merlin ice sculpture. Scowling was hard with all the laughing my face was doing.

"Do you have to make idiots of yourselves wherever you go or do you have a planned schedule and map?"

Oh God… oh God, no…. oh sweet Merlin please don't do this.

"You know me, James, nothing gets done around here without a plan."

That's it Abbie, you are dead to me, dead, I hope you enjoy the grave I just moved you into.

"Baez, you keep that face and people are going to confuse you for a butthole."

I smiled "Oh, don't worry, Potter, I'll never be able to measure up to the phallicness of your face."

"Hilarious, Lina." Abbie said, physically removing me from Potter's vicinity. "Really cracked me up there, now James I am sorry but we have to tend to very important business in the restroom."

And with that she seized me by the arm to army march me towards the nearest bathroom. She seemed like she was about to go on a major rant.

"I do not have a vendetta against Potter." I protested before she could scold me any further.

"Of course not." She replied, reminding me scarily of McGonagall, she rolled her eyes and sighed, "Guess I can't say much about you causing a scene, after all I did kick that table over."

We smiled at each other, best part of being best friends with a klutz, they don't judge.

"Come on, let's get out there," she said a large smirk spreading on her face "I heard they're going to bring out the desserts table soon"

My eyebrows buried themselves into my hairline, maybe this night would not be so terrible. After all, Potter might be the human form of the Black Pest but even he couldn't compete with Tiramisu.


End file.
